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Why do we torture ourselves so, over the loss of a loved one, I mean long after a decent grieving time. I know we all grieve differently, but to rehash such loss too long is unhealthy and damaging to those you profess to love. So why, we fool ourselves if we believe it is only out of love, surely I do not insinuate that we do not love those we have lost, it is a combination of fear and selfishness that we do not move on, never forgetting but continuing to dwell on ourselves our loss. The fear of the unknown,  if we are not deeply rooted in our faith, we might actually doubt we will ever see that person again, but that is not true we will regardless remember that person and the time we spent with them till the day we die. Our selfishness is so keyed upon loss, and what we will never again do with these loved ones that we will fail to remember the good, and really look for them in ourselves and others to whom we are close. If you could speak with that beloved one more time, you can be sure you will be admonished for wasting the only gift we all have in common, the gift of life. It hurts me to see those I love in such anquish, especially when they are unwilling to move on, and in essence have prematurely given themselves over to death. Can they even imagine the pain they are causing those who are with them and alive, often seeing that loved one but inable to reach them through the fog of their grief. Let go my friend, move on, those in the profession call it acceptance, you must celebrate the lives of those past without dwelling on your loss. I am sure if they could they would say, “life is for the living”, and then they would wink and hug you. ~ Nick Pensabene

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