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Are they angered because therw isn’t much of a selection or because of the use of the truism “Fat girl costumes” on the Walmart website? I’m not sure, but if fatsos put as much time and effort into getting down to a healthy weight as they do complaining about mistreatment in advertising,  I believe we could likely eliminate our country’s obesity problem. That being said, it appears as though that portion of  our population that take up way more than their fair share of bus, train and airplane seats and are forever ruining our days with visions of way too tight Yoga pants,  and spandex, have swallowed a mouthful, put down their forks and pushed themselves away from the table long enough to be outraged by this Walmart add.  Now surely it was a mistake, I’m positive Walmart does not want these behemoths storming the gates and plodding through their stores angrily ripping open bags of food and devouring them on the spot without paying. Considering that large Marges make up about 40% of the giant chain’s customers base, I’m sure Walmart will rectify this immediately.  They have already vowed to install slop troughs next to every cart coral, every store will now have an all you can eat aisle and don’t forget whale butt Wednesdays,  when grossly overweight women(50 lbs or more) take 10% off any non sale items. A Walmart spokesman has also vowed to remove any reference to size in all their products after medium.  They will be calling all products of any size reference “curvy” as per the demands of the radical slobbo group National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance (NAAFA real organization you may Google it) Walmart wants to remind you Curvy folk need love too. There will be a sale on Curvy Shrimp, Curvy Olives and if you curvy size your flabby meal at the concession stand you’ll get a Curvy fries and soda for 15 cents more. Wi cards and food stamps always accepted. That’s all for now, I gotta run, I got a curvy day ahead of me.
~ Nick Pensabene

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