This week my family suffered a tragic loss, my Niece Heidi’s husband Mike was killed in a work related accident. This was a special young man, an MMA fighter, Husband and hero to their three boys, and gratefully looking forward to a coming fourth child. He came from a close loving family and because of that he grew strong and sensitive. He had a heart of gold, and a personality to match. Most importantly he loved Heidi fiercely and she him. He was a throwback and at the same time a man of contemporary thought. He enjoyed life and his flame was extinguished far too early, and those who knew and loved him will suffer his passing forever. I will remember our heated but respectful conversation on theology, politics and the social condition. I didn’t spend alot of time with Mike being on the road road and away from my New Jersey family. What I remember clearly and most fondly is how his boys, my great nephews, Nicholas, Luke and Michael Angelo looked at him with admiration, love and respect, one of the trust measures of a man. I am heartbroken for my Niece and the boys, and really hope in my heart that they may find some peace in the memories that together as a family they created. R.I.P. Mike Alfaro, I am so proud to have known you and call you nephew.
I mentioned today on a friends Facebook post that “The ball has been in the black man’s court for thirty years”, with regards to the necessary important step in racial harmony in the United States. I was met with indignant horror by one person, saying that such a statement is the stupidest thing she ever read on the Internet. In reality how far off the mark am I, id say the facts show a bullseye. The black community has over the years proven that they will do nothing to curb the generational teachings of distrust towards the white man, there is also a strong perpetuation of disrespect and disregard for officers of the law, none of which has had any institutionalized foundation for many years. They have squandered opportunity after opportunity to rise from the smouldering ashes of an vastly racist America to meet their full personal potential as a community within America. Instead they have chosen to align themselve with a new liberal slave master who promises them more equality, and instead destroys their spirit as a proud people. What exactly is the meaning of more equality, I’ll tell you, there is no such definition. It is a hollow golden idol full of lies. Am I saying racism doesn’t exist, of course not, there will be small pockets of racism always. Prejudice and bigotry more than actual racism, but that shouldn’t stop all progress towards racial harmony from one side. It would be simply ludicrous for the majority of a race to stop all socioeconomic progress while awaiting the complete end of something that will never end. The group mentality must end, the obvious special treatment from the federal government must end, and the constant cries of victimhood must finally be laid to rest. There is much work to do within their cummunity which will keep them busy for years. We must all better ourselves constantly, but as I originally stated for a group perpetuate such distrust and hatred generationally means no social progress and that leads to behavior like burning, looting and rioting, to blame others for failures that lie squarely on their own shoulders. Wake up black America, you are being lied to and used, a pawn to keep racial tensions high, we are equal under the eyes of the law, nothing else matters.
~ Nick Pensabene
A nation that neglects its warriors does not deserve to prosper. I understand we cannot control the conditions that must be endured during a time of war. Our Soldiers must often do many of the things that we take for granted every day under seemingly unbearable conditions, yet they persevere. The horrors they witness the stretching taut of every nerve, minds and bodies forced beyond the limits of humanity. These young Men and Women freely volunteer for such service and are trained in a encapsulated manner for a job for which many could never, no matter how long be prepared. We ask them to kill, maim, and maintain vigilance thousands of miles from home against an enemy that knows no rules of engagement, while back at home they would barely be of age to partake of an adult beverage.
We are however, in full control of the conditions they face here at home upon their return.
There are many ugly things about war, the actual horrors of which may not be the worst. The ugliest thing of all is the way our returning Veterans are forgotten, lost in and endless sea of politicking and bureaucratic red tape. Why in this day and age of such excessive diplomatic expenditure and vastly unnecessary and poorly managed social spending can we as nation not come up with a plan and funds to reintroduce our returning armed forces personnel back into society. There needs to be realistic emotional and mental screenings, with real Doctors who are not overwhelmed by work load, and psychological counseling for the troops and very immediate family made available if it is deemed necessary by those screenings.
There need also be a concerted effort to help these men and women secure meaningful employment, with employment come purpose and without purpose there is no hope.
Those severely injured in a foreign war or conflict, loss of limb, or other life changing injuries must have access to healthcare for life and that healthcare must be administered with dignity.
These are just a few thoughts from a man that realizes that at times when war is necessary, we call upon young men and women to do our dirty work, both justified and not, they do not question that call and serve with honor. The question we must ask ourselves on Veteran’s day 11-11- 2014 is, are we returning this service in kind, sadly the answer is no. This is within our power to change. ~ Nick Pensabene
Are you a good Parent, I dont mean in the way most parents think, I am speaking of in the deepest sense of your duty as a parent. Are you the Parent of a future self sufficient member of society a leader, or at the very least not a future lemming that will mindlessly dash themselves on the rocks of servitude and conformity. The majority of our children between the ages of 14 and 28 are woefully unprepared for the world they must lead.
Read the paper, watch or listen to the news, look around you every day, can there be any question as to why the number one most important issue we face today is how our children are being raised. Do they have a sense of both appreciation and gratitude, are they courteous and respectful, have you instilled in them an important sense of honor and duty? Which of your detrimental behaviors or mindsets have you passed on to them, your prejudices, biases or hatred? How about physical fitness, are you a lazy couch potato who is raising a fat lazy couch potato of a child, do you think this is acceptable? Do you push them to acheive, and teach them the importance of such out of pride or to help them be the best that they can be? You cannot any more live vicariously through your child than to completely give up on them. How consistent of a disciplinarian are you, do you let them know that although they may disappoint you, you will love and support them whenever and wherever possible? Do you spoil, or do you ignore, do you make excuses for bad behavior because of how in the end it may reflect shoddy parenting? Are you a coddler or do you use your child to push forward a social agenda by using them in experimental ways that make you feel in control? Although it’s an important start, just showing up is not enough, it is your duty to raise is an independent thinking and able bodied future generation. I’d like to believe that no one thinks parenting is easy, although I am sure the majority take their duty far too lightly, but the fact is, not one problem we face today cannot be solved a prepared, intelligent and hard working next and future generations. Life can and will throw us many curves when it comes to the little people in our homes, and nothing is guaranteed, but with a little common sense and a great deal of care, we can win the future, one child at a time.
~ Nick Pensabene
We are creating zombies and monsters with our current rate of drugging our children, lazy parenting, an ancient approach to the sciences of the mind and a one size fits all approach to education are the biggest causes.
Thinking about putting your child on drugs, as a parent you have an obligation to question any diagnosis or classification that can pigeonhole or stigmatize your child for the rest of their life. Pharmaceutical mind altering drugs are not the answer, they are more often than not, a band-aid on an arterial laceration. Sometimes they are far more life threatening than that, creating zombies, psychotics, suicidal and even homicidal monsters. In our effort to create a better life for them and us, are we unwittingly destroying any possible future at normalcy for our children? Make no mistake by normal, I do not mean in comparison to our first children or the children of others, and I certainly am not speaking to the standards set by our Government controlled education system. Normal with regards to our mental and psychological well being, should be considered, the state we were born, without the consideration of genetic abnormalities or pre natal damage due to trauma or drug abuse.
All children are unique to a large extent and must be brought up, educated and handled as such, there is a need to revamp our educational efforts, and work on focusing our process of classification instead as we have in the past broadening them. (For example A.D.H.D. and Autism)
We need to work on making life much more bearable for the children who for over 30 years now have been diagnosed as different and drugged beyond recognition into acceptable beings.
Our children are most certainly the future, and if we continue to use them as experimental lab rats, we willingly create an unstable future. They cannot be the focal point of social engineering or temporarily politically correct behavior, children must be allowed to behave as children, and the rest must be handled with good strong parenting and an education system designed to work with an enhance the abilities of each child.
Vocational schools, aptitude tests and proper placement path counseling are key. Parents in multi child households should realize all children are not the same and there are many factors that play a role in how we see them, our age being one of them, so learning how to put our children first in a real, productive and intelligent way is the key, and to acheive that our pride
and egos must be checked at the door. Drugs are certainly option for some, but should truly be the last option for all.
Why do we torture ourselves so, over the loss of a loved one, I mean long after a decent grieving time. I know we all grieve differently, but to rehash such loss too long is unhealthy and damaging to those you profess to love. So why, we fool ourselves if we believe it is only out of love, surely I do not insinuate that we do not love those we have lost, it is a combination of fear and selfishness that we do not move on, never forgetting but continuing to dwell on ourselves our loss. The fear of the unknown, if we are not deeply rooted in our faith, we might actually doubt we will ever see that person again, but that is not true we will regardless remember that person and the time we spent with them till the day we die. Our selfishness is so keyed upon loss, and what we will never again do with these loved ones that we will fail to remember the good, and really look for them in ourselves and others to whom we are close. If you could speak with that beloved one more time, you can be sure you will be admonished for wasting the only gift we all have in common, the gift of life. It hurts me to see those I love in such anquish, especially when they are unwilling to move on, and in essence have prematurely given themselves over to death. Can they even imagine the pain they are causing those who are with them and alive, often seeing that loved one but inable to reach them through the fog of their grief. Let go my friend, move on, those in the profession call it acceptance, you must celebrate the lives of those past without dwelling on your loss. I am sure if they could they would say, “life is for the living”, and then they would wink and hug you. ~ Nick Pensabene
“The damage of divorce”
What has done more to damage the American family and create emotionally damaged young adults than our laissez-faire attitude towards divorce. After all it is nothong more than the legal and systematic destruction of a family. Many of those with children who have divorced or who condone divorce would clamour against disturbing a birds nest or befouling the natural habitat of many a mammal.
Do not misinterpret the meaning of my words, divorce, even where children are present is sometimes necessary, just not at the staggering rates as we have today.
There are times of spousal and/or child abuse, real physical or emotional abuse, when the victim spouse must leave as duty would dictate, despite what tripe you have been fed by enabling psych professionals. Either pack your bags, grab the children and leave, or you yourself become responsible for your own fate.
We as a society have not only
accepted familial divorce, we have created lies surrounding it, things like, children of divorce are much better off, than living in a home without love or one filled with vitriol. These justifications are merely created in order to make us feel better about our own failures to for the sake of the family unit and the lives we’ve created to act in a civil and adult like manner. I have personally heard the words, “My children have turned out fine” many times and can only wonder, what an odd statement. Many child victims of sexual assault turn out fine also, but do we not do all in our power to shelter them from this possibility.
I do not seek to indict those who have divorced, that is history now and the damage is either done or not. What I can say to those same people is you owe it to your children to unite in your divorce as was never apparently possible during your marriage. You can never replace the broken family, but can do your best to properly raise your children.
If you are without children or not yet married, I ask you to seriously consider the responsibilities you must face before leaving the world of me and entering the land of us. Take no such duty lightly, because all our futures depend on it.
~ Nick Pensabene