Why do we torture ourselves so, over the loss of a loved one, I mean long after a decent grieving time. I know we all grieve differently, but to rehash such loss too long is unhealthy and damaging to those you profess to love. So why, we fool ourselves if we believe it is only out of love, surely I do not insinuate that we do not love those we have lost, it is a combination of fear and selfishness that we do not move on, never forgetting but continuing to dwell on ourselves our loss. The fear of the unknown, if we are not deeply rooted in our faith, we might actually doubt we will ever see that person again, but that is not true we will regardless remember that person and the time we spent with them till the day we die. Our selfishness is so keyed upon loss, and what we will never again do with these loved ones that we will fail to remember the good, and really look for them in ourselves and others to whom we are close. If you could speak with that beloved one more time, you can be sure you will be admonished for wasting the only gift we all have in common, the gift of life. It hurts me to see those I love in such anquish, especially when they are unwilling to move on, and in essence have prematurely given themselves over to death. Can they even imagine the pain they are causing those who are with them and alive, often seeing that loved one but inable to reach them through the fog of their grief. Let go my friend, move on, those in the profession call it acceptance, you must celebrate the lives of those past without dwelling on your loss. I am sure if they could they would say, “life is for the living”, and then they would wink and hug you. ~ Nick Pensabene
“The damage of divorce”
What has done more to damage the American family and create emotionally damaged young adults than our laissez-faire attitude towards divorce. After all it is nothong more than the legal and systematic destruction of a family. Many of those with children who have divorced or who condone divorce would clamour against disturbing a birds nest or befouling the natural habitat of many a mammal.
Do not misinterpret the meaning of my words, divorce, even where children are present is sometimes necessary, just not at the staggering rates as we have today.
There are times of spousal and/or child abuse, real physical or emotional abuse, when the victim spouse must leave as duty would dictate, despite what tripe you have been fed by enabling psych professionals. Either pack your bags, grab the children and leave, or you yourself become responsible for your own fate.
We as a society have not only
accepted familial divorce, we have created lies surrounding it, things like, children of divorce are much better off, than living in a home without love or one filled with vitriol. These justifications are merely created in order to make us feel better about our own failures to for the sake of the family unit and the lives we’ve created to act in a civil and adult like manner. I have personally heard the words, “My children have turned out fine” many times and can only wonder, what an odd statement. Many child victims of sexual assault turn out fine also, but do we not do all in our power to shelter them from this possibility.
I do not seek to indict those who have divorced, that is history now and the damage is either done or not. What I can say to those same people is you owe it to your children to unite in your divorce as was never apparently possible during your marriage. You can never replace the broken family, but can do your best to properly raise your children.
If you are without children or not yet married, I ask you to seriously consider the responsibilities you must face before leaving the world of me and entering the land of us. Take no such duty lightly, because all our futures depend on it.
~ Nick Pensabene
One of the biggest problems we have faced as a people over the last 40 years is that our citizens do not know the difference between duty to themselves, family, gender or race and the all important duty to our country and society. We have far too many who do not know where to draw the line between selfish parental thought and civic minded necessity. There are also too many who believe whatever special interest group they belong too should be first and foremost in their thought. If you need to put even your faith over the best interest of our nation, you are living in the wrong nation. Surely there is room to practice your faith within the laws of man. You have fractured, balkanized and separated our country’s people for many many self centered reasons. In order to restore the balance necessary to reign in control of this juggernaut of misdirection that is the United States of America, it is time you put your country & constitution first.
~ Nick Pensabene